Self-care starts with the language in our head. If that language says I’m too busy, you’re already behind on your self-care game. The good news is that we can consciously reframe that language with daily practice in moments when opportunities arise. It’s a type of self-care that differs from the self-care activities like massages, yoga, reading — those all require squirreling away more time.
The first step in moving away from I’m too busyness is to recognize how often you say you’re sooooo busy and and how often you hear it in conversation. To me, it’s as common in conversation as the weather and in Minnesota we talk about the weather. A lot. Once you start honing in on this, you can start to catch yourself and try out how it feels to say things like, my life is full, I’m focused on my priorities, It’s intense and I love it… It might sound and feel as silly as Stuart Smalley’s Daily Affirmations, but I tell you, that’s what it takes!
And more good news… because you’re going to get that inevitable question, How are you? from almost everyone you encounter daily, you can prepare. Start by taking busyness and the weather out of the equation. Focus on self-care – put it out there with intentional word choices and feel the love come right back atcha. You can say things like I’m really looking forward to the weekend, I’m heading to a yoga class to find zen this evening, I’m checking things off my list one by one!
Sharing this language in the universe is not only a gift to us, but to all of those we encounter. If you say you’re busy, what people really infer is something vastly different. The real message you’re sending is, “I’m not very good at prioritizing my time and at the moment, you’re not a priority at all” (BBC article). Also note that the saying of busyness with adults is one thing, but when your kids hear you say it, it raises a whole other level of concern.
Remind yourself that you’re blessed to be active, have a full life, and have choices. Reframe your conversation for your own self-care and others around you. I’ll leave you to ponder self-care with a few more samples below.
We’d love to hear from you! What are you going to test out? Are you already on board with this and what insights do you have?
Did You Hear Me, I’m Crazy Busy!
If you find yourself bypassing drinking the water you know your body needs because then you’ll have to take time to head to the bathroom, that is crazy busy. So stop. (True conversation, btw, between my sister-in-law and me…)
I Am So Busy. I’m A Modern-day Superwoman!
Being busy has been glorified, but it’s not what anyone wants to hear or feel (BBC article, source). Productive is a great word swap for busy. For example, I was so productive today. I had it on my schedule to consume the latest on Netflix for three hours and that’s exactly what I did! Check! Get a calendar, too and schedule downtime so it’s guilt free (this idea overheard in ModernWell women conversation).
Multi-tasking Is Also A Busy Badge
I used to have “multi-tasking mom” on my mom blog and Twitter bio @jengilhoi. Like it was a badge. In the past years I’ve intentionally tried to move away from that mindset. It tears at me, because efficiency (which I love and crave) is also entwined in multi-tasking.